


I’m Not Ready To Get Older

by xvivon



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is Not Robin, Damian Wayne will be Batman, Damian Wayne-centric, Fuck Ra’s Al Ghul, The League of Assassins (DCU)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24540922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xvivon/pseuds/xvivon
Summary: I can’t go back to the start nowTime doesn’t slow downI’m on my ownGuess my childhood is overNow I'm taking down the postersAnd I'm putting all my things inside a boxNext to a toasterThat's my closest thing to closureI can't stop this roller coasterI'm not ready to get older, I'm not ready to get older
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne & Everyone, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Talia al Ghul & Damian Wayne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	I’m Not Ready To Get Older

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is inspired by Older by the amazing Alec Benjamin. It’s a fic where Damian is 18 and moving out and stuff like that. Oh yeah, and Bruce might be making him Batman.
> 
> Enjoy!

As the sun is setting, a stray ray of light deflects into the mirror. The same mirror Damian is staring into. In denial of his childhoods end. It’s all still so hard to believe. Just yesterday he can remember his family forgetting his thirteenth birthday. Not the fondest memory but, it all still seems so recent.

Now, at eighteen years old, he stands in his room. The room didn’t have many personal belongings as he wasn’t the sentimental type. And, the ones he does have are packed in boxes, ready to be moved to his new apartment.

His hair is a lot longer than he usually likes, and the bags under his eyes have gotten a bit darker. _All a part of growing up._

His father still hasn’t retired the mantle, even though he plans to do so in the upcoming months. He’s nearing his mid-fifties, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the scum of Gotham. Even the rogues are seeming to slowdown their antics.

The family thinks the cowl will be passed down to him, no matter how amazing Cass is. The truth is, Damian doesn’t know if he wants the be Batman. It’s all he dreamt of as a child. Is he wrong to have differing thoughts now?

The League also wants him to lead, and be the new Demons Head. He doesn’t want that, but, _he could reform it, and do good by-_

No. He doesn’t associate with them anymore. Except for his mother, she will always be dear to him.

_He will have to give up being Robin._ He hadn’t even thought of that. The thing he worked so hard for. To build trust, to ease the blood on his hands, to do good.

_Good._ Is he good? He might have done more harm than good. But, he’s Robin, and Robin is good. And Drake was Robin. And Todd was Robin. And-

They were good. All he did was remove Drake from his title as Robin and stir drama with his family. What he did was _hurt._

Grayson says he’s good. So does father. And that means he _must be good._ He wouldn’t be a candidate to be Batman if he wasn’t.

_He could be Batman._ The man he grew up idolizing, even without knowing, is choosing him for the job.

Bat _man_. He’s not a man. At least he doesn’t feel like one. He still feels like a kid. The one that would hesitantly creep to Graysons room after a nightmare. The one that enjoys Alfred’s pancakes and a movie when he’s sick or injured. The one that he no longer is.

He still remembers when he had been a child in the league. The ruthless training, the sleepless nights, the longing for him and his mother to _get out._

And then he came here. To a place where there was no murder, where he wouldn’t need to feel as guilty for being who he is. And at the same time, feeling guiltier for what he’s done.

Has he been spacing out infront of his mirror this whole time? Oh god, he better not start acting like Drake. In a zombielike state. He already feels as if he is in a haze of sorts.

“Hey Dames!” He hears someone rushing up the stairs. “Are you almost ready to go?” Grayson had been helping him transfer boxes from the manor to his new place of residence.

“Yes, I will only be a moment longer. I just- I need to do something first.”

“Sure, take your time. I’ll be in the car ‘kay?

He grunted in response, as Grayson left his room.

Taking one last look around, it was hard to describe. Strange, is the first word that comes to mind. Boxes, even if few, situated on the floor, at the foot of his bed. But, extremely clean, he and Pennyworth make sure of it.

One thing that he, and only he knows, is he kept his bedroom resemblant of his room during his time with the league.

Certain things, like a sketchbook that he used when he was five. Or a sample of his mother’s perfume. A dagger he won in battle against Mara. A recipe book that belonged to Melisande, his grandmother.

No he is not sentimental, he just has _things_ he likes to keep. Things that are of much importance to him.

He glances down at his phone, it’s already seven o’clock in the evening. His room is fairly _dark_ for that time. Though, he likes it that way.

Around this time in the league he would be enduring brutal training in the hot desert sun. Now in Gotham, he’s wearing a hoodie.

The hoodie says ‘Gotham Academy’ on the back with some inane design he cannot remember because it’s so easy to forget.

High school was extremely boring. As he already was educated on the material and the majority of the children there were idiots.

He was surprised he hadn’t gotten expelled for all the stunts he pulled. Toddand Brown had found them hilarious. Though Grayson and father weren’t as enthusiastic.

All the romance and drama there didn’t interest him. He had friends like Jon and Colin, why would he want to befriend Karter?

Grayson is still waiting in the car. And, his father is probably in the cave finishing up some of his last cases as Batman.

_Right._ Batman and Robin. Robin specifically. He has something he must do.

He slinks out of his bedroom, as he has done many times before, and descends down the stairs. On his “journey” he runs into Alfred.

“Hello Master Damian, hows the moving process? Do you need anymore help?”

He swears this man can live forever. Ra’s is nothing compared to Pennyworth.

“No, we are fine, and require no assistance.” He paused “Thank you though, Pennyworth.”

“As you wish Master Damian.”

On his way to the cave, he spotted his father in the study. That was good, there would be no questions unless the physic butler returned.

The cave has a lot of decorations, like the giant dinosaur he fought Drake on. Or, the giant penny that sits there. And, the costume cases that, hold costumes.

He approached the robin suit, _his,_ Robin suit. And he looked it over, one last time.

As, he too, is nearing his end as Robin. And, looking towards a new beginning.

Even if the world is moving too fast.

_Because, he’s not ready to get older._

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who was in a zombielike state writing this? Me! And I’m still in one so, that’s fun. Ya know what also seems like a haze? 2020.
> 
> Btw if you didn’t know, Melisande Al Ghul is Damian’s grandmother on his mother’s side. Because she was Talia’s mother. Ya know, before she died. By being thrown in the pit. Even though the pits bring you back to life? I’ll have to re-read that haha. Please stay safe and drink some water.
> 
> Have a great morning/afternoon/night bbbbyyyyyyeeeeeeeee
> 
> Go bother me on tumblr - [xvivon](https://xvivon.tumblr.com/)


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